Wednesday, June 20, 2012


I have a bone to pick with the rapper known as 2 Chainz. 

1) He looks likes Jar-Jar Binks.  

2) He seems to have weseled his way into every song I listen to. 
- Beez in the Trap, Nicki Minaj 
- Breakfast, Kreayshawn
- Mercy, Kanye West 
- Boyfriend (Remix), Justin Bieber feat. Asher Roth and Mac Miller
- Wild Boy (Remix), MGK and others

3) Here are some lines that stood out to me. Particulalry in his verse in JB's "Boyfriend"
- "Nine times out of ten, you a ten
If your shedule is open I'll pencil you in.
I wiggle it in, then get with your friend
Laugh now, cry later I hope you're ticklish then
Let's figure it out, I figured it out
Shawty so thick she put a dent in my couch."

Italics indicate that I hear this particular line in my head all day at work and on BART. And when I am showering. 

4) In every music video I've seen you in (like, two of them) you are fanning a stack of 100 dollar bills. Why? And is this the same stack of bills in both videos? Because you really do not deserve this money. 

So 2 Chainz, I really don't know howto react to you. You havre a very talented agent/publicist who is getting you a lot of gigs , and you have mad an impact ("Yay!"). Now do something impressive instead of just making me wonder what the heck you are trying to accomplish. 

That is all. 

Sunday, June 3, 2012


I got a job waiting tables at a sushi restaurant. Today a family of five came in.

"It's her birthday today!" the mom tells me, pointing at the middle daughter. I make a mental note: ice cream. Our restaurant gives out green tea ice cream on three occasions: 1) If a customer orders it. 2) If the waiter makes a mistake. 3) It is someone's birthday. Considering I had already given out ice cream on the first two accounts, I was pretty juiced to surprise this little girl with a small bowl of probably the most elitist ice cream ever.

Unfortunately, I spilled a glass of water on the woman's youngest child, and then four more groups came into the restaurant and I simply didn't have time to scoop ice cream for this girl. The family left a modest tip, but I could tell I really struck out with them. Birthdays are not something you want to mess up. Ever.

Exciting life events:

  • BUSS PASS - I have a monthly bus pass, which is kind of like having a car. I tried getting car insurance but 1) it is expensive and 2) our car insurance company tricked us into paying extra without our consent, so I don't really feel like giving them more money. 
  • JUGGLING CLUB - I joined a juggling group in Berkeley. I learned how to pass clubs between two people, which is pretty exciting except my thumbs are sore the day after. 
  • WORKING OUT - I printed out a pamphlet titled the "Naval Special Warfare Physical Training Guide", and I am doing a workout that is loosely based on their advice. It seems to be working, because I now have pectorals, which has been on my wishlist for a while but Santa has NOT been delivering. Thank you United States Government!
That's about it for now. I am trying to blog more. Life is about get interesting this coming week. You will definitely hear about it.