Monday, October 22, 2012

Pub Secret Menu!

It's finally here!

Download the first ever  Pub Secret Menu:

The Pub Secret Menu.pdf

NOTES: This is a work in progress, which means I want to improve the menu and to come out with new versions. Submit your favorite sandwiches, tell me which sandwiches suck, which ones are awesome, and let's make a great menu.

HOLLER!

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Tuesdays Are Awesome

Tuesdays are the days I delete all the random files on my computer, the days I browse the internet and read all of my favorite websites, and think about life.

TUESDAY REALIZATIONS:

  • Being a college professor would be great. I talked to my don about this, and basically I would graduate from SLC and then go to Grad School at Mill's College and then teach psychology or educational theory (if such a thing exists). I also considered being a high school teacher, which would be equally awesome, but I don't know how I'd deal with obstinate teenagers. This would take additional training and work (extensive reading of "The Art of War") but if I could handle high school, I'd totally do it, because there is something crazy and gritty about public high schools that I would love to be a part of. 
  • Homes can be messy. While browsing "interior design" on Tumblr, I became frustrated when I realized that every single home pictured on the site was SPOTLESS. Empty floors, white walls, too clean. Last week I visited a friend's dorm room in Dudley Lawrence and it was by far one of the best furnished rooms I have ever seen. And what I liked MOST was that it had a "lived in" feel. It was homey without being messy-gross. It was charming and comfortable and classy. I considered redecorating my own room, but a) my money is for food only and b) my room is a temporary living space. By the time I move in, it will be time to move out. Luckily, I don't spend a lot of time in my room anyway, but it's probably because it's empty, poorly furnished, and littered with empty cardboard boxes. 
  • The Pub is my second home. Since my room is a pretty depressing place to spend my time, I've been spending most of my time in The Pub (a dining option on campus [it isn't really a pub, its kind of like Subway. Kind of.]). I order a sandwich and do homework and often end up inventing dance moves with Lil Snuggz of Cleveland. 
  • I have a lot of lines to memorize. I am in a play called "Vilna's Got A Golem". It's kind of like "Inglorious Basterds" meets "The Three Strooges". And my sister will be visiting SLC when it goes up.  So I must know all of my lines, or else she will make fun of me and tell Mom and Dad that Connor truly is "First Born, Second Best." 
LOOK ITS MY CHOREOGRAPHER/LOVER?
Yup. True life. 

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

BLAHG: Authors and Eye Twitching

Hola chicos.

Again, bored out of my brain. There is no way out, so I'm going to blog.

Things That Bother Me:
  • When people ask me what I'm reading. Whenever I ask this, I immediately regret it because no matter what they say, I am not interested. HOWEVER, I am going to tell you that I read a great book (A Sense of Direction by Gideon Lewis-Kraus) and I loved it and HOT DIGGITY DOG my psych teacher e-mailed him and now he's coming to talk to our class TOMORROW. Can't handle it. My school is awesome. That is all. 
  • My left eye is twitching. I looked up causes of eye-twitching online and honestly the entire Sarah Lawrence student body should have the same problem. 
"Anyone can have an eye twitch from time to time without an identifiable cause, such as a disease or condition. Occasionally, a cause for eye twitching can be identified. In those cases, eyelid spasms may be associated with or prolonged by 
      • Alcohol
      • Caffeine
      • Fatigue
      • Irritation of the eye surface or inner eyelids
      • Lack of sleep
      • Physical exertion
      • Smoking
      • Stress"
From "http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/eye-twitching/MY00102/DSECTION=causes

  • Scalloped potatoes in Bates looked good, tasted poor. So I buried them in salad (I am typing this in Bates, and I want to take a photo of myself holding up my plate, but I am worried that everyone in this room is going to judge me hardcore). 
  • Trying to look natural. Notice the potatoes beneath the more edible leafy greens. 
  •  Bit into a potato on accident. Upset. 
  • Eye twitching. RJFHASDJGAJGVA
Things That Are Awesome: 
  • Ned. Grad student who is a good friend of mine. He just sat down to eat dinner with me.
"First time I threw up my mom yelled at me for ruining the carpet. So she handed me a bucket and told me to clean it up." - Ned
  • Cloud Nine. I'm in a play. It is probably why I am not getting sleep. But I get to play three characters, one of which is a four year old girl. I am surprised at how easy it is to play this part. 

  • EYE TWITCHING IS NOT AWESOME BUT IT IS HAPPENING NOW.
I have to go to rehearsal. And eat. So peace out. 

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Postest with the Mostest

Yo children.

I am not at liberty to discuss the cause of my boredom right now, but it is mind-numbing. My brain feels nothing. I am a zombie. This is horrible.

Zombified. 

Life updates:
  • I have a Twitter account:  http://twitter.com/connorthemiller. This was born today. I've been keeping a journal but my journals consist of one-word sentences and the number of push ups I did that day. So I figured I might as well get a Twitter to share this information. 
  • I juggle every Wednesday on the North Lawn at 5 o'clock. Be there. 
  • I am compiling a Pub Secret Menu. Here are some highlights: 
    • The Sherman Flats: Turkey sandwich on sourdough  with cheddar cheese and bacon, pannini'd. Named "The Sherman Flats" because it was invented by Adam Sherman and it is flat. 
    • The Standard: I admit this isn't a great sandwich but I get it almost every time I go to the Pub. Thus, it is my "Standard" order. It's a crispy chicken sandwich in a spinach wrap with lettuce and tomato and cheddar cheese. 
    • Name-You-Own: This is a work in progress. If you want to add your favorite sandwich to the Pub Secret Menu, give me a receipt with what you ordered on it, plus the creative name of the sandwich. It should be within meal-swipe limitations. I will try and compile a list.
  • I have been eating a lot of protein and doing push ups every morning, except on Sundays, because Sunday is a day or rest and spiritual observance. 
  • I am planning to be Bane for Halloween. Currently working on acquiring the mask and the body (hence the push ups). 
  • Also compiling a College Playlist 2012-2013 on Spotify. However, it makes me sad that I cannot find this song outside of SoundCloud: 


  • This has been my jam for a while now, and if someone could get me the actual song, I would wash their feet (biblical reference? YES. Fight me.)
  • I have successfully stained my two favorite t-shirts. Once I get paid, I plan to buy 5 pastel-colored V-necks from Target. They are a staple.
  • Salmon Skin rolls from the Wild Ginger in Bronxville are something to be desired.  
Cool beans. Life your life. Ayaay Ayaay ayaay. 

Zombie-Connor peaces OUT. 

Thursday, August 30, 2012

New Video

Hola chicos. So apparently my cousin is good friends with IAmSu, so after eating dinner at my grandma's house she took me to meet him at "The Tipi" (the home and studio of none other than Chief himself). We kicked it, wrote some lyrics, and made this song:



I'm at the end.

And now I am currently waiting until I can finally get on a plane back to Sarah Lawrence. The Bay has treated me well. But it's time to go get the degree.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Existential Anxiety

So I've been spending a lot of time sitting in bed, playing Halo, and watching how-to magic videos online. I can now successfully make a coin disappear. Multiple times. I showed my mom and my sister and they are very impressed.


I have also steadily become nocturnal. Last night I was up until 4 am watching "Oldboy" a poorly dubed Korean thriller. And today I spent a good portion of my day lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, and trying to figure out what to do with my life.

Things I Considered Doing With My Life:

  • Become an accountant. Basically, I saw "Shawkshank Redemption" a while back and I realized "If I ever go to jail, I want to be Andy Dufresne". Last night I took a brief Personal Finance lesson online, and now I am pretty much an expert. 
  • Becoming a professional couch potato. 
  • Maybe become a better waiter. I was at my job a couple days ago and a co-worker alluded that my other co-workers were picking up my slack on busy days. Apparently I get most of the tip, even though I hardly bring out any food to customers. I thought "Hm, maybe I'll become a better waiter," so I watched some YouTube Videos on how to carry trays. 
  • Redecorating my room. My dad asked me why I'd do that, and I explained that it was because I might have to live in my room for the next twenty years of my life. 
  • I don't know what I was trying to accomplish with this, but yesterday I cleaned a jam jar. It's just a jar now, no label, nothing. 
In short, I need to get my rear in gear and do SOMETHING, because currently the only mark I am leaving on this planet is the small volume of poop and CO2 I am currently producing on a day to day basis. 



Sunday, July 1, 2012

UPDATE: Summer 2012

So, I am sorry I haven't been blogging. I got a letter from PK and on the envelope it said "Keep blogging, wordsmith."

What can I say. Flattery works.

BULLET POINTS:

  • I am incredibly talented at writing lists now. I write them a lot. Even in conversation. My friend Lucas noticed that I preface statements with titles like: "Things I was Thinking On The Bus" and "Things I Am A Fan Of". This is probably because all of my notebook and journal pages look like this. 
  • I put on a comedy show in my garage with Lucas and Diego! It was an hour-long show called "Interactions With Girls", which featured original sketches, poems, and stories written and performed by the three of us. Here's a photo: 

You are attracted to us.
  • I wrote two novellas. One is a riveting story about my friends and I fighting zombies. Another one is a meandering love story about kids with superpowers. It's not that great. I am not going to burn it, but I am not going to be sharing it with the world anytime soon. 
  • I won a rap battle in Oakland! I won $100 and a trophy with a gold muffin on it. I had to throw away the trophy because it started to smell after a couple of days, and I used the $100 to buy juggling clubs. 
  • I am juggling a lot! There is a trampled patch of grass on my backyard lawn where I juggle almost every day. I am working on juggling five balls, and I should be able to accomplish this by the end of the summer. 
  • I am afraid to drink apple juice! I drank it two weeks ago and threw up all day! And then I tried drinking it again a week later and became nauseous. NEVER AGAIN JUGO DE MANZANA.
That's about it. I've also been playing Halo in the late hours of the night, which is fun and frustrating. For those of you who don't play Halo, imagine these things trying to kill you. 

There are supposedly eight-foot tall aliens that like to kill human beings by beating them with that fancy shield thing. 
I now have nightmares about these guys, and whenever I see them in the game, I scream and sweat profusely. 

SUMMER! 

For those of you who have Spotify (I am really reaching on this one, because from what I've gathered only my relatives read my blog and I seriously doubt any of them know what a Spotify is [no offense]), here's my "Summer Playlist" of 2012. It's a collection of songs that I've been listening to and sort of characterize my summer. Its fun. Give it a whirl. (Summer Playlist 2012)

I'll be doing more creative things soon. For now, enjoy this blog post and I'll try my best to bring you more.

HOLLA FROM THE BAY. 

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

WHY 2 CHAINZ?


I have a bone to pick with the rapper known as 2 Chainz. 

1) He looks likes Jar-Jar Binks.  

2) He seems to have weseled his way into every song I listen to. 
- Beez in the Trap, Nicki Minaj 
- Breakfast, Kreayshawn
- Mercy, Kanye West 
- Boyfriend (Remix), Justin Bieber feat. Asher Roth and Mac Miller
- Wild Boy (Remix), MGK and others

3) Here are some lines that stood out to me. Particulalry in his verse in JB's "Boyfriend"
- "Nine times out of ten, you a ten
If your shedule is open I'll pencil you in.
I wiggle it in, then get with your friend
Laugh now, cry later I hope you're ticklish then
Let's figure it out, I figured it out
Shawty so thick she put a dent in my couch."

Italics indicate that I hear this particular line in my head all day at work and on BART. And when I am showering. 

4) In every music video I've seen you in (like, two of them) you are fanning a stack of 100 dollar bills. Why? And is this the same stack of bills in both videos? Because you really do not deserve this money. 

So 2 Chainz, I really don't know howto react to you. You havre a very talented agent/publicist who is getting you a lot of gigs , and you have mad an impact ("Yay!"). Now do something impressive instead of just making me wonder what the heck you are trying to accomplish. 

That is all. 

Sunday, June 3, 2012

SUMMER

I got a job waiting tables at a sushi restaurant. Today a family of five came in.

"It's her birthday today!" the mom tells me, pointing at the middle daughter. I make a mental note: ice cream. Our restaurant gives out green tea ice cream on three occasions: 1) If a customer orders it. 2) If the waiter makes a mistake. 3) It is someone's birthday. Considering I had already given out ice cream on the first two accounts, I was pretty juiced to surprise this little girl with a small bowl of probably the most elitist ice cream ever.

Unfortunately, I spilled a glass of water on the woman's youngest child, and then four more groups came into the restaurant and I simply didn't have time to scoop ice cream for this girl. The family left a modest tip, but I could tell I really struck out with them. Birthdays are not something you want to mess up. Ever.

Exciting life events:

  • BUSS PASS - I have a monthly bus pass, which is kind of like having a car. I tried getting car insurance but 1) it is expensive and 2) our car insurance company tricked us into paying extra without our consent, so I don't really feel like giving them more money. 
  • JUGGLING CLUB - I joined a juggling group in Berkeley. I learned how to pass clubs between two people, which is pretty exciting except my thumbs are sore the day after. 
  • WORKING OUT - I printed out a pamphlet titled the "Naval Special Warfare Physical Training Guide", and I am doing a workout that is loosely based on their advice. It seems to be working, because I now have pectorals, which has been on my wishlist for a while but Santa has NOT been delivering. Thank you United States Government!
That's about it for now. I am trying to blog more. Life is about get interesting this coming week. You will definitely hear about it. 

TRANSPORTATION BOIII

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The Land of Opportunity

So much has been going on and I am not even going to attempt to write it ALL. But I will give you highlights that come to me right now.

I went to a party on Saturday. The theme was "1920's Speakeasy" so we all dressed up real classy-like (I wore a dress shirt, slacks, and a borrowed orange bow-tie) and we went ham on the dance floor. At this event,  a girl I had interacted with a total of two times since school started came up to me and said "Hey! I don't know if this is weird, but I read your road trip blogs. Like all of them. As it was happening. And I liked them so much, I read them to my grandma."

"Are you talking about the blog?" Pk said, walking over, "I forgot who I was talking to, but someone else really liked your blog. They told me that you were a wordsmith!"

I was flattered, even though I was pretty sure I am not a wordsmith. A wordsmith, from my understanding, is someone who creates new words, like pounding 'em out on an anvil. For example, a word for how I felt would be something like "awesoflattereallikompliments". BAM wordsmith. But I looked it up online just now and realized that I was wrong.


Other than that, I have been a little bit stressed out. Yesterday was hell. I woke up at 6:30am, worked out, went to my office job from 9am to 1:30pm, went to Spanish class from 2:00pm to 3:30pm, and then worked for the Woman In Yonkers for three hours. I got home at 7pm, passed out, and woke up every three hours with nightmares.

LOVE IT.

Today I sorted out my schedule. I told the Woman In Yonkers that I cannot work for her four days in a row EVER AGAIN. Her house vaguely smells like old bananas and I can only take so much of it. Also, I talked to my crew coach and asked her if she could give me back some of my weekends. She said maybe. And today I skipped Hip Hop Dance class (GASP) which allowed me to do a healthy chunk of conference work.

Who's getting his life into order? THIS GUY!

ALSO Albany has a blog. She rows crew with me and is pretty awesome. And her writing sounds exactly how she talks, which my oral history teacher calls "having a voice", which is good! WORDSMITHS! Here is the link to her blog: http://mommysack11.tumblr.com/

How we feel about rowing crew every morning at 6:30am.
That's about it for now. I am trying to decide whether I want to come home for the summer or not. My don told me that I should flip a coin, and I am seriously thinking about taking her up on her offer.

WORD UP.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Final Day of Our Road Trip

The last day of our road trip was one of the most memorable. I woke up at around 7:30am and read The Hunger Games on the front porch with Quincy's dad as he read his own book and smoked his morning cigar. Quincy's mom bought doughnuts and I got the first pick because none of the other guys were awake. Score? Yes.

Everyone else woke up around 11:00am, and once we were fully dressed and showered, we went to the beach to have a freaking cookout. Quincy brought a grill, burgers, sausages, buns. fruit and pasta salads, chips, brownies, and so much more. We played frisbee, shirtless in the sun while she cooked for us, and when the food was ready we feasted like champions. The sky was blue, the company was fantastic, and the food was possibly the best we've had in months.




Once we finished eating, we dropped Quincy and her cooking materials back at her house, thanked her and her family endlessly, and then began our journey home.

"It should take less than four hours." said PK as he backed out of the driveway.

Two hours later we were lost.

"We're supposed to be heading south right? There's the sun. So that's west, so we're sort of heading where we want to go, right?"
"But we should be on a freeway right now."
"Should we ask for directions?"
"NO. We're men. We never ask for directions. And we never ask for help when carrying furniture, even if we do not 'have it'".

Lost
We stopped in Randolph, a town that shall always live in infamy. It turns our that we drove in a circle, and now, after two hours of driving, we were two miles away from Quincy, where we started.
"HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?" said PK incredulously.
We went to the Randolph CVS to get drinks to improve morale. I had been eating brownies for a couple of hours and was craving milk, so I bought myself a "Milk Chug", which I was very excited about.

EXCITEMENT FOR MILK 

"MILK!" I said, showing PK.
"That's fine, Connor. Just don't spill it in the car."
"Man, I will not spill ANY of it. I am going to drink every last drop. I've been eating brownies. I need this."
We had not even left Randolph before we hit a bump and I spilled pretty much half of the bottle on my lap.
"Dammit."
"What is it?"
"I spilled the milk."
"You have got to be kidding me. The one thing we ask you to do Connor."
"Sorry." I began wiping up as much as I could with my sweater.
"How much did you spill?"
"It's ok, he's cleaning it up."said Colgate as I frantically took off my shorts, which were soaking in dairy.
"How much did he spill?"
"Not a lot."
"That doesn't help me."
"Just a little. It's fine."


Soiled shorts, boxer briefs.
Fortunately the sun went down and we didn't have to deal with the milk curdling and stinking up the car (although I am worried for PK's mom, who is currently using the car to make a five hour commute. AAAAA).

We finally found our way back on the road. A three and a half car ride turned into a six-hour trek. On the bright side, we went through most of Seattle's music playlist, but a quarter through it I bumped the screen we went out of sequence.

"F***ING RANDOLPH!"

We decided to name the car Randolph because of all that transpired in this small, Massachusettan town. We  pulled into PK's driveway at 10:30pm, and we unloaded the car immediately, snacked lightly, surfed the internet, showered, and went to bed.

Poughkeepsie (the town) is my new home for the next seven days. The road trip was a success as far as I am concerned. We all had our cathartic moments and we had a much needed break from schoolwork and dense populations of women. This is it. Michael Jackson's, "This Is It".

Colgate urinating as a rest stop. 

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

ROAD TRIP DAY FOUR

Day four we had a breakfast of kings. Scrambled eggs, pancakes (banana and chocolate chip), toast, tea, bacon, and more. There is no reason to leave Quincy.

We packed our things and left to spend the day in Boston. At the train station I noticed a high density of angry-looking blonde women, more than I have ever seen in one area before. I was composing a poem about Boston in my head using this information until we boarded the train and I saw a couple neutral-faced Asian men. Boston is diverse.

Check out THIS diversity. 

In Boston we took the Freedom Trail, which is a red line of paint and bricks that leads tourists around to all of the historical landmarks. We saw a couple guys dressed in colonial attire which was exciting until we saw redcoats and wanted to kill them. Quincy was our tour guide, and we walked to where the Boston Massacre occurred and to the "Commons" and such. My favorite stops were the graveyards, where the graves look exactly like Halloween lawn decorations. We spent a lot of time here looking at names and dates ("This one died 1750! WHAAAT? Oh shit, she was 17"). We threw pennies on Paul Revere's headstone, which is apparently a thing. My penny bounced off the grave and landed on someone else's, but I wanted to look cool so I just pretended I didn't notice.


A "Death's Head", rather cute. 
 After the tour we went to Boston University to hang out with a friend of Colgate's. We sat in the grass and watched crew teams row by in the river and shirtless men do push ups.

After chilling in the sun for a while, we went back to the North End (I had to look this up. I don't really know the lingo) to see an improv show. I double-fisted some pizza and some passerby made fun of me ("Is that Ricardo's? Mmmm smells like c***") which made me feel self conscious so I tried throwing away the pizza, but it was one of those garbage cans you have to open with a handle, but I had two pizzas in my hand so I opened it with my elbows and threw away the crusts. There were two guys watching me do this and I left quickly hoping to never to see them again, but they turned out to be the hosts of the comedy show. Grand.

The comedy show was excellent. Five dollars brought us two hours of improv.
"Audience, we need suggestions. What is a job that your grandfather might've had?"
"Slave driver." I say.
"What?"
"Slave driver." I say a little louder.
"No. Someone else."
This pretty much sums up the evening.

We left Boston at around 11 and went to Sonic back near Quincy. It's a fast food place and apparently the servers are supposed to come out on roller skates, but our server, "$$Lisbeth$$", was too lazy. She walked out our food and later we saw her when her shift ended and she left WITH HER ROLLER SKATES. She does not deserve the dollar signs in her name.


Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Day 3 of the Road Trip

Day three of the road trip I woke up at 7:00am to drop Warrior Princess's mom and sister off at school. Colgate went with me to make sure I did not get lost driving the car home, but it did not help. We missed our stop and ended up turning around to try and find it. If Colgate wasn't with me, I would have knelt on the corner of the road and cried.

Once we got back, we went to pick up Quincy at the ferry and then we went to the beach. We frolicked for a couple hours, playing guitars and taking photos and relaxing. We each had a cathartic moment at the beach, and we left at 1:00pm to drop off Warrior Princess at the dentist.

Massage line. 
While she was getting her teeth worked on, we went to Diary Queen. The friends got ice cream and I ordered "A pair of classic dogs."

"A terrier and a greyhound." said PK.

When Warrior Princess got out of the dentist we got her ice cream as well and then began to pack to take the ferry back to the mainland. It was my day for music, and my friends were impressed with my music choices. However, Colgate was slightly upset when songs from Rent came up ("I hate that musical") but I  gather that we are still more or less friends.



The ride to Boston was about two hours. We moved into Quincy's house and her mom made us a DELICIOUS DINNER OF CORNED BEEF AND CABBAGE. AND THEN SHE MADE US COFFEE CAKE. AND THEN SHE MADE US BROWNIES. After dinner we broadcasted "The Best Day Ever", my radio show, via webcam from Quincy's couch. We had an average of ten viewers for an hour. We will do this again next week. Afterwards we sat outside around a fire pit and talked about how much we liked or hated camping.



Seattle hates camping. So does Colgate.
We ended the night with going to the beach and looking at the Boston skyline and then watching Monster's Inc. I  am pretty sure I fell asleep before the opening credits had ended.



Sunday, March 18, 2012

Road Trip Day 2

Last night went to a party in New Paltz where I was accused of being Japanese. I was telling a story to some friends and to illustrate a point I knelt down on my knees and put my hands behind my head. A blonde girl walks by and looks confused.

"Are you doing kung-fu?"

Seattle, PK, and Colgate found this pretty funny. I pretended to be offended and the girl left, embarrassed.  Who is smooth? THIS GUY.

Getting dressed for the party.
I spent most of the party walking around trolling (definition) people. One guy was playing beer pong and yelled for everyone to be quiet.

"GUYS! GUYS! I need silence. This is the shot. I need to concentrate."

Everyone went quiet and I muttered, "Oh man, I just farted."

Everyone laughed and he got mad and yelled at the wrong people. He still won the game, though, so I don't see why he was tripping so much.

I also tried convincing people that World War Three had started. I looked at my phone and said loudly "OH MAN. We just bombed China. It's the world versus us." The crowd went silent.
"How do you know?" someone asked.
"Obama texted me earlier. And he asked me 'Should I do it?' I didn't know what he was talking about, but I texted him back anyway. Just one word. 'YOLO'."

Later on some creepy old guys tried coming to the party and everyone surrounded them and bullied them out. Later on when we were eating in Pleasantville's* car and we saw one of the guys walking around and bumping into trees. He eventually knocked on our car window and said something incoherent, but we are pretty sure at one point he used the word "behoove" in a sentence, which was impressive.

[*Pleasantville is a good friend of ours who we will reunite with once we return to Poughkeepsie].

The next day I woke up in a small pile of cookie dough. I was not drunk when I fell asleep, it was simply dark and I did not look where I was resting my head. After washing my sweater in the sink, we wished everyone well and hit the road. We used PK's iPod for road jams. Highlights included singing "Spring Awakening" songs at full volume and Ingrid Michaelson's "Be Ok". Tomorrow is my day for music, which I am pretty nervous about. My playlist can make or break this friendship.

Waking up.

Packing up.

Poor man's AC. 

Most of today was driving. We stopped to eat at a Panera (sandwiches and smoothies) and we screamed when we crossed the state line into Massachusetts. At one point we thought we were lost so we pulled over and played catch with a tennis ball until we realized that we weren't lost, the exit we were looking for was the next stop.

Trying to figure out where we were. 
Playing catch.
We took a ferry to Martha's Vineyard and discussed Daniel Radcliffe's claim that children are "drunk little people that follow you around." A couple kids walked by and whined about wanting candy and we all laughed. PK proposed a theory.

"Maybe the younger you are the more drunk you are. That's why we can't walk or talk when we're young. And that's why we don't remember any of it."

We met up with "Warrior Princess" (a self-chosen nickname) at Martha's Vineyard. We stopped at her house, ate at a restaurant, and then walked along the beach until it got cold.






Now we are chilling at her house again watching TV. I am still reading the Hunger Games, and at one point the commercial came on for the movie and PK put his fingers inside of my ears. We have been bragging to anyone who will listen that we have midnight premiere tickets, and most people have been jealous.

Now I need to sleep because for some reason I am waking up at 7:00am to help drop of Warrior Princess's sister at school. I am still confused as to how this happened, but I am just going to roll with it and not ask questions sine they have kindly let me sleep in their home.

BEACH TOMORROW! And hopefully it will be warmer.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Road Trip Day 1

The "before" photo. Left to right, me, Seattle, Colgate, and PK.

So for my first college spring break experience, I am going on a road trip with three fellow Sarah Lawrencian men.

  • Seattle - Red-haired and recently starring in Sarah Lawrence's production of Spring Awakening, if our road trip were to be a horror movie Seattle would be the one who survives. 
  • Poughkeepsie (PK) - The tallest member of our foursome, PK has great hair and even better impromptu monologues. We will be traveling in his car for the duration of the journey, and beginning and ending at his house. In our horror movie, he is the second-to-last person to die, and the audience is really sad about it because he was such a cool guy. 
  • Colgate - Reportedly looks like a "hot, lesbian mom" from certain angles, Colgate is originally from Los Angeles. He is currently starring in SLC's production of "Pippin", and even more currently playing Marvel Ultimate Alliance on PK's Wii. In our horror movie, he is the one who figures out the mystery, but is killed while having sexual intercourse (side-note: these are all based on actual horror-movie archetypes and do not reflect any real experiences). 
  • Me - Originally from Pinole California, I am currently memorizing a monologue for "Brief Interviews with Hideous Men" (I didn't even have to audition!). I am really excited about the road trip, and if it were a horror movie I would be the one who sacrifices his life to save the group. 
Hopefully, our road trip will NOT be a horror movie. So far, PK's mom gave us road trip goodie bags (filled with gummy penguins and water bottles with filter caps!) and we are hanging out in his house and having dinner with his family. His little brother, who I will give the pseudonym "Spock", is in the fifth grade yet possibly has more charm than the entirety of the Sarah Lawrence student body. He gave us copies of a play he wrote and we had a dramatic read-through in the living room. It was remarkable. Then he proceeded to fly a toy Starship Enterprise around the house and blew up my face multiple times.

Reading Spock's play. 

Getting into character. 
We officially depart for New Paltz in a couple of hours, but for now we are lounging around drinking Limonata in PK's beautiful, semi-rural home. I am currently reading "The Hunger Games" which I need to finish by next Thursday for the midnight premiere of the movie. Everyone else is playing video games, except for Seattle. 
 
Preparing for the long road ahead. 

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Work Work Work

This is the current background of my computer:

Love it
Notice the resemblance:
Striking.
The reasoning behind my background choice is that my life is getting pretty busy and complicated. I am working two jobs, I am in a play, and I have three academic classes that require a lot of reading and studying. I am scheduling myself the best that I can  so that I have fun for fun stuff like playing pool and writing and drawing.

But why Ira? Well, this was my old desktop background:

Kid CUUDIII
An aesthetically pleasing background, yes. However, whenever I opened my laptop to do work, I would see Scott Mescudi, who is into drugs and music and Converse shoes. This is no way to get inspired to do work. So I changed the photo to someone I should aspire to be. And in this case, it is Ira Glass. He is a hardworking, friendly guy, and I was able to find a nice, big picture of him to fill up my background.

So that's that. Work is getting done, and I am finally finding time to write again.

However, my job with the woman in Yonkers (henceforth referred to as Ms. Yonkers) is one of the most interesting things I have experienced. She is 70 years old and trying to get her Master's degree, but she can't use a computer. So she pays me $10 an hour to make PowerPoint presentations for her. Which I do not object to in the slightest.

She was driving me home today and I saw her look into the rear-view mirror.
"Oh no. Is that a cop?" We were on the freeway. I looked over my shoulder and saw a small bus, but no cop car. This did not bother me as much as what happened next.
"I think it's a cop car." she said, and she reached over to put on her seatbelt. However, she couldn't buckle it while driving, so she opted just to put her left arm though it without clicking it into the receptor on the other side.She drove the rest of the way to SLC wearing her seat belt like a handbag.

"What are you doing in school, Carter?" she asked.
"I am doing a project on humor in children. I am supposed to figure out what makes children laugh."
"Well that's a stupid topic." she snorted. We both laughed. I don't think she realized that my don and I collaborated on choosing this topic.

Oh well. Ten dollars an hour. 

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Glass

I am in an improv show. Well, it's sort of an improv show. It's a theatrical performance based on commedia del arte style of theater, which, from my understanding, is an improvised play where the actors wear masks. However, in the show I am in, instead of masks, we are masquerading as different high school stereo-types. It's like a play in the sense that we all have characters, but there is no script, but more of a plot outline.

I have been cast as the "Jesus-Freak."
"Type-cast?" asked my don.
"No." I replied. "Not at all."

However, I am told that I have embraced the role very well. I now have a little white Bible that I carry around everywhere just to keep in character. Also, one of my Christian friends has been providing me with valuable resources like "hipsterchristianity.com" ("When church and cool collide.")

Rehearsals are every day except Sunday, so I am pretty busy. We do improv exercises and go through scenarios and practice sketches. I have been doing this every single day this week, and with homework on top o that, it has been hard to find time to shower. However, I showered today, and it felt great.

I am, however, avoiding a certain area on my arm, the area where I put one of my NEW TEMPORARY TATTOOS:
For those of you who can't read upside down, it says "You need to learn how to read upside down."
I have 18 more of these babies, all different words, and it should keep me pretty entertained for a couple of weeks.

I feel kind of bad that I haven't been blogging as often. I've been writing in my journal a lot, and I'm also writing fiction, even though I am not in a fiction class. I am still in Philosophy, and it looks like it's going to be that way for the rest of the semester. My professor looks like a Tim Burton character, but he is crazy-intelligent. When I take notes, it looks like the words don't stick to the page but rather slide around into odd formations.

Last but not least of my ventures, I am also part of a club called "Too Pool For School", which is a group of guys that get together every night and play pool in the Black Squirrel. We are hoping to become good enough to the point where we can go into the city and hustle at pool clubs. My tattoo will come in handy.

That's about it. I felt inspired after reading an Ira Glass quote I saw on a professor's  door. I don't want to be that guy who posts other people's words, so if you want the link to the quote that has me all hot and bothered, you can get it here (http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/show/309485)

Hand is cramping up. Happy Superbowl Weekend.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Good Morning

I am officially 19 years old, which is pretty darn great.

"I can now officially make fireworks." I told someone.
"Really?"
"No."

I have been lying a lot to people lately. I was playing pool yesterday in the Black Squirrel and between turns I started dancing.

"Whoa man, you look like a pole dancer."
"I did pole dancing as part of my gym credit in high school."
"No way, really?"
"Yeah, we had a district wide competition and I came in fourth place. There were like twelve competitors and I was one of two guys that participated."
"Wow. That's impressive."

I let it sink in, and then I leaned in to tell him that it wasn't true.

In high school I actually convinced people that there had been an Earthquake in Florida and as a result they had to shut down Disney World.

"Because Florida isn't used to earthquakes, and they have to make sure all of the rides are still working correctly."

This rumor spread throughout the school, and no one bothered to look it up until 2:00 in the afternoon.

"I can't find it in the news." said one of my friends, scrolling through her phone.

At these times, I think I would be a great fiction writer.

But right now I am in a philosophy class called "Language, Thought & Reality" and it is the craziest thing ever. Right now I am learning that when I say "I am Connor" I am actually saying "He who is speaking right now responds to the name 'Connor'" but then this isn't even true because there might be a whole bunch of people speaking right now and there is no way to truly identify myself with words.

WHAT.

The point is that I am not in a fiction class and I need to find a creative outlet for all of this fiction I seem to be spouting. So I am writing a book. It's snippets, but it's a book, where I write about 500 words a day in a composition notebook.

And that's the truth.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

My Roommate Made Me Hot Chocolate

Connecticut's chocolate powder made my hot chocolate possible. 
Ohio made me hot chocolate, which I am eternally grateful for. I currently have a block of cheddar cheese in the fridge, and if Ohio wants to have a slice, he most definitely can have it.

Today I did some work for a woman in Yonkers. I found her through the Sarah Lawrence job network, and she agreed to pick me up and drive her to her house to do some research/filing. She drove me to her house and    ran into her retaining wall as she pulled up into her driveway. "Oops. That's not good." she muttered. We sat down for two hours and she read to me what she wanted me to type. I am not the best typist, but I think I performed admirably today for a man who uses a total of three fingers to type.

I made a grand total of $16, which I spent half of on cheese and crackers. I know have eight dollars to get me through the week.

ALSO, it is snowing! Here is a MySpace picture of me in the snow:

Legit.
I love the snow! We  will see how long this lasts. My employer tells me that snow "is a drag."

Tomorrow, my first real week of school begins. I am waking up extra early to sign up for Hip Hop dance classes.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Bumped

I was bumped from the class that I really wanted to take: "Sparks in the Void." It's a fiction writing class, but I tell people it's a Women's Studies course, just to see how they react. Being "bumped" means that the class is full and you have to try and find another class. So today I walked around campus and interviewed some other teachers and HOPEFULLY I will not get bumped again. I signed up for two more writing classes and a philosophy course.

"A philosophy course? Domini domini domini." said my roommate Ohio, crossing himself. "Good luck with that. I took a philosophy course last semester and I had to drop it."

"Well, I am a stronger man than you are." I told him. He seemed flustered when I said this. After he reads this blog he will try and convince me otherwise.

A few of my favorite things
I've been living on carrots, crackers, and hummus. No, I am not starving, but when I am hungry between meals I pull out the triple threat and snack. I am DEFINITELY getting more of this when I go shopping again. 

However, because of the initial expenses of college (textbooks, groceries, dandruff shampoo), I am currently low on funds, so I am going to have to get creative these next few weeks with food and comfort. Fortunately, I have two jobs (on Mondays, I'm an office assistant, and on random days, I am a research assistant), which means I will have TUBS of hummus to feast upon. 

And, hopefully, new pants. 

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Alan Rickman

"Connor, I have two criticisms about your last blog post. First, you can totally pay for college. You just need to get jobs, like me. Second of all, I am part of most of your little adventures, yet I am not mentioned in the the blog ONCE. But don't call me Princeton, that's lame, my nickname should be something cool, like 'Big Red'."

Big Red
Big Red invited me to a party last night, but she said I could only go if I applied for five jobs. I did, went to the party, came back, and saw that I had an e-mail saying that I was hired. I am now a research assistant for a woman who is currently writing her dissertation. Eight dollars an hour! SWAG.

Today Big Red, Seattle and I went into the city to get student rush tickets to see "Seminar" on Broadway, starring Alan Rickman (http://www.seminaronbroadway.com/). Tickets normally range from $51 to $199, but we got them for $30. Gotta love being a student.

We ate dinner at Shake Shack in Times Square, and then made our way to the play. It was funny and intelligent, and we really loved it. Afterwards, we waited by the stage door and got autographs and photos of the stars.

Me and Jerry O'Connell.
Big Red and Alan Rickman. 
One woman asked Alan, "Can I take a photo with you?"

"You can take a photo of me." He replied.

A successful night. Classes start tomorrow, but I am glad I started of the semester with a different kind of seminar.
My autographed playbill.